50 Things Not to Do after 50

From Naming Your Pets after Tolkien Characters to Signaling "Peace Out" to Your Friends
by Leland Gregory
rrp $24.19

Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing

Publication Date: August 01, 2018

ISBN: 9781629148472

Binding: Kobo eBook

Availability: eBook

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The rules change at 50! The New York Times–bestselling author and former SNL writer offers advice on living this stage of life with your dignity intact.

If you or someone you know has just turned fifty, it’s time to accept that the rules of life have changed, and that fifty is not the new thirty for most of us. Leland Gregory understands the forgetful minds, sagging bodies, and flagging pride of his fellow middle-agers, and in 50 Things Not to Do after 50, he offers helpful—and hilarious—advice for combating the humiliations this stage of life can bring.

In this lighthearted and sometimes painfully on-target book, you’ll learn that what we used to do in our twenties, thirties, and forties should be avoided at all costs from now on. For example, regardless of gender, under no circumstances should you ever . . .

  • Attempt to wear leather pants
  • Start a story that involves a lot of names—you’ll forget most of them before the story is over
  • Stalk your high school sweetheart on Facebook; the person you had the hots for in 10th grade probably isn’t so hot anymore
  • Get drunk in Pamplona and decide to run with the bulls
  • Volunteer to be a drug mule
  • Say things like “fo’shizzle,” “whatev,” or “cray-cray”
  • . . . And do we really need to mention thongs, Speedos, or jeggings?

Leland Gregory, the New York Times–bestselling author of Stupid American History and America’s Dumbest Criminals, has been praised by Katie Couric as the “chronicler of Stupid America.”